New Jersey Massage, LLC

        The North Jersey Massage Training Center 

owned and operated exclusively by massage therapists   

Since 1980!  

 June Newsletter

2014

NEWSLETTER 

Parsippany Medical Complex

3699 U.S. Highway 46

 (973) 263-2229  

 

 CONTACT Us   

newjerseymassage@verizon.net 

www.newjerseymassage.com 

 

Press here to check out our on-line store!

Press here to sign up for our newsletter !! 

Dove

 

In This Issue

Featured Article: THE BEST DAY OF YOUR LIFE!

June Continuing Education Classes that fulfill licensure requirements for Massage Therapists, Nurses and Healers, Approved by the N.J. Department of Education and the National Certification Board for Massage and Bodywork (NCBTMB), NEW CLASSES JUST ADDED IN MANUAL LYMPH DRAINAGE

LAST MEDITATION CLASS BEFORE SUMMER VACATION June 5th at Parsippany Medical Complex, ALWAYS FREE!

Deep discounted clinic rates so that everyone can enjoy a great massage: Saturday's only AT 360 SPORT in Fairfield, $65 for Deep Tissue, $85 for Medical/Sports Massage...Sunday Clinic at the Parsippany Medical Complex $55 for Swedish or Deep Tissue Massage... Parsippany clinic dates are Sundays, June 8, 22

Massage Master Specials at all offices...TAKE $20 OFF the regular price: This month Lomi Lomi + Raindrop Therapy, Acupuncture Massage, Myofascial Release, Traditional Barefoot Shiatsu, Thai Massage, Hot Stone Massage, Cranio- Sacral, Lymphatic Drainage, Pregnancy Massage

Our Menu of Spa and Clinical Massage Services

Food for Thought: Cutting Edge Information about Health and Well Being

Must See Amazing Short Videos and Links

Larry's favorite quotes or thoughts of the week

 

How to read this newsletter:

Every two weeks I put out a newsletter and each newsletter contains three poignant sections.

 

The first section,

opening the newsletter is my keynote article filled with powerful spiritual insights based on my lifetime of spiritual study, practice and teaching.

The second section,

in the middle of the newsletter, is devoted to our Accredited Continuing Education Programs, our healing facilities and what's new and happening in and around our New Jersey Massage. 

 

The third section

is devoted to health, wellness and environmental issues.

I sincerely hope you get inspired by what you read and I ask you to share this newsletter with your friends and family. If you have read or come across something that is exciting and newsworthy, please forward it to me and perhaps we can include it our newsletter. Much Love to you and yours... 

Larry Heisler, M.A., LMT

____________________________________________________________________________ 

 

 

The Best Day of Your Life! 

by Larry Heisler, M.A., LMT 

 

 

.

I'm getting married on July 4th!  

A small, powerful, spiritual affair, primarily devoted to our closest family members and a couple of closest friends, mentors and patients but still a profoundly expensive day.
My older brother was questioning the veracity of spending so much money for just a small chunk of time.
Of course he's got a point.
My response at first to him was, "We are going to be dead soon, what difference does it make?" But then I said the following, " If you live just 10 years more, that's 3,650 days, this one day, this dynamite party of being surrounded by the people you love the most, might make it as perhaps the best day of the remaining days of your life and for that reason, it's worth it."

If you live to be a hundred years old, you will live exactly 36,500 days. If you just make it to ninety, that would give you 32,580 days of life and if your sacred contract comes up earlier and takes you at 65 years of age, you will live approximately 23,725 days. That's all...
For the succumbing 65 year old that translates into just 65 birthdays in their entire life, 65 Christmas days, 65 Valentines days, 65 Anniversaries, you get the idea.
If you were asked what was the best day of your life, would you be able to say? Would it be your first kiss? Your Confirmation or Bar Mitzvah? Sweet 16? How about your high school or college graduation? Maybe being at Shea Stadium for the Beatles or attending Woodstock. What about the birth of your first child, the very first time you had that precious thing in your arms?
Most likely these examples of special days might make it into your top 10 list or perhaps top 100 best days of your life.

But the best day of your life?  

My wonderful friend Kate when asked responded without hesitation and said, "That's easy, the best day of my life was my wedding day and the second best day of my life was when my husband Ed was given a totally clean bill of health after a serious cancer scare.
Two things become glaringly obvious with this line of thought:
1. Thinking like this can change the way we view our life and
2. There are an awful lot of days that are seemingly unimportant and unexciting.
Maybe the question should be posed differently.
What was the most profound day of your life?
That might include when you miraculously walked away from a very close call or the demise of your closest friend or parent.

The great meditation master Hilda Charlton wrote a fabulous book entitled,

Hellbent for Heaven.  

She sincerely believed that every single day of life should be lived as if it were your last day on Earth. She often quoted from the Old Testament,
"God spews out of his mouth the lukewarm."
One never wanted to appear mamby pamby or lukewarm around Hilda. She demanded 100% and firmly believed the purpose of life was to become a fully functioning, liberated soul like the great Bob Dylan lyric,
"He who is not being born is busy dying."
To Hilda everyday of life was to be embraced as miraculous and lived fully with passion and fervor along with the understanding that this day could be your last.

Hilda also believed in the notion of the Interactive Universe.
That the purpose of life is completely and entirely about your personal spiritual growth and evolution. That you come down here to grow in every way; physically, mentally, emotionally and that this universe in some sort of profound scientific/ spiritual arrangement interacts with you specifically to promulgate that growth.  

And let's face it, life is all about your growth and spiritual lessons; every person, every experience, every trial and tribulation. Now if your entire existence is about your personal growth and development and you are completely aware that its an interactive universe, that you are in fact being guided in some wonderful and divine way...
Well, that changes everything now doesn't it?.
That's the point!
 
And FYI, you'll be able to see our wedding ceremony on the internet at 4:30 in the afternoon on July 4th.
I will post the link in our next newsletter. 

 

 

 

and now for 

two IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENTS 

 

Its spring, time to break up the winter hardness in your muscles with a couple of great deep tissue medical massages.  

As we like to say,
Get Young With Us at New Jersey Massage!

 

 

New Jersey Massage  

is  

OPEN FOR MASSAGE THERAPY  

IN SUMMIT,
AT ELLE COIFFURE SALON


IN DOWNTOWN SUMMIT 

AND 

SATURDAYS ONLY

360 FITNESS

25 West Greenbrook Rd.

 on the border of Fairfield and North Caldwell
for our 

Professional Massage Therapy Clinic 
with the Instructor/master therapists of
the North Jersey Massage Training Center

$65 for an hour

deep tissue,
$85 Sports or Medical
+ NJ SALES TAX

 

 

By the way, our massage therapy is great, worth every penny at our regular price but this clinic discount stuff is a great price for a great massage!

Folks, take advantage of it, it won't be around for long.

 

"As a former dancer, a personal trainer and an exercise teacher that has taught over 14,000 fitness classes, I've had some of the world's most talented therapist's work with me. No one has ever come close to successfully managing my body's specific needs as the master level therapists of New Jersey Massage, LLC.

THAT'S THE BEST MASSAGE I'VE EVER HAD!"

Kathy McCready, former Prima Ballerina of the New Jersey Ballet

 

"This is a highly trained medical massage team addressing soft tissue complaints with refined, neuromuscular hands-on therapy. Whether you are tight or in pain, just want to get flexible, or feel younger and look your best, these are the people to go to; this is the place to go."

Dr. Henry Katz, M.D., Internal Medicine

 

"These folks are the difference makers. That was the best therapeutic massage I've ever had!"   Theresa Menagh, RN, Asst. Director of Nursing

 

TO SCHEDULE AN APPOINTMENT

973 263 2229

                  

 

              

 

JUNE 2014         

       Continuing Education Master Classes  

for Massage Therapists, Nurses and Healers

 

Licensed by the NJ Department of Education
NCBTMB Provider Number 450461-07 

Best viewed on our web site: www.newjerseymassage.com  

 

LOTS OF NEW AND EXCITING CLASSES

REFER A FRIEND OR CO WORKER  

AND  

TAKE $20 OFF YOUR NEXT CLASS 

 

NEW JERSEY REQUIRES 20 CE HOURS EVERY TWO YEARS

NEW YORK REQUIRES 36 CE HOURS EVERY THREE YEARS

PENNSYLVANIA REQUIRES 24 CE HOURS EVERY TWO YEARS 

NEW JERSEY NURSES ARE REQUIRED TO TAKE 30 CE HOURS EVERY TWO YEARS

and our classes fulfill requirements for the N.J. Board of Nursing!

 

 

We have great classes to fulfill all your requirements!  

 

 

         "Feed your head!"  

ALL TESTIMONIALS ARE DIRECTLY FROM WORKSHOP EVALUATIONS

 

 

"I've taken many wonderful classes here. This is a great school for 

continuing education with an elite group of master teachers and 

 one of the best free health newsletters around!" 

 Kathy McCready, LMT, former Prima Ballerina, NJ Ballet

 

 

PRESS ON THE LINK OF THE CLASS YOU'RE INTERESTED IN AND ALL THE INFO. WILL COME UP 

 

 

Calendar 

Date(s)

Day(s)

Time

Course

Instructor

CEs

Cost

Jun-06-2014

Fri

10am-6pm

Ultimate Medical Massage Series: Face & Core Foundation

Larry Heisler

8

$175

Jun-08-2014

Sun

10am-6pm

Table Stretch Your Clients

Dr. Henry Roth

8

$175

Jun-09-2014

Mon

10am-6pm

Ultimate Medical Massage Series: Hip & Leg

Larry Heisler

8

$175

Jun-13-2014

Fri

10am-6pm

Geriatric Massage Training: for the Mature and Aging Client

Cheryl Chapman

8

$200

Jun-16&17-2014

Mon & Tue

10am-6pm

Pregnancy Massage

Cheryl Chapman

16

$325

Jun-18-2014

Wed

10am-6pm

Orthopedic Massage: Assessment and Correction

Mark Carangelo

8

$125

Jun-23-2014

Mon

10am-6pm

How to Effectively Treat Intra-Scapula Knots in the Rhomboids: The Heisler Approach

Larry Heisler

8

$175

Jun-24&25-2014

Tue&Wed

10am-6pm

Manual Lymph Drainage 101: Foundations

Elisa DiFalco

16

$325

Jul-10-2014

Thu

10am-5pm

Ethics - Full Day

ZoŽ Putnam

7

$160


CLASSES JUST ADDED

 

Manual Lymph Drainage 101: Foundations

with Elisa DiFalco, M.S., O.T., L.M.T

Choose one set of dates

Tues. and Wed., June 24 + 25

Tues. and Wed., August 26 + 27
Tues. and Wed., October 28 + 29
Sat. and Sun., November 22 + 23

10-6pm each day
16 CE Hours $325

 

A comprehensive "must have" MLD Vodder-style course for all healthcare professionals.

 

Learn about the lymphatic system in an interactive format. You will explore the history of MLD, its founding fathers and introduction to the United States in the 1980's by Surgeon Robert Lerner, M.D. for cancer patients.

 

Master practitioner Elisa DiFalco worked for Dr. Lerner and was Clinic Director of his LTS Clinic in Ft. Lauderdale.  She will take you on a tour on of the A&P of the lymphatic system in a fun, interactive format and introduce you to the indications, contraindications, pathology and assessments necessary when working with lymphatic medical conditions.  The tour continues with a hands-on lab teaching you to perform a basic full body MLD sequence you can employ immediately to your existing clients and patients.  Conclude with general guidelines to compression garments and lymphosize exercises from Germany's Clinics of Lymphology for optimum self care of the client and outcome preservation.

 

This 2-day course has been rated a "10" by the AMTA, FSMTA, leading hospitals and Occupational Therapy Associations.
Find out why MLD has become one of the most requested modalities for pediatrics, sports, plastic surgery, face lifts and 40 + conditions.
The marketplace need for MLD is expanding for those who are trained in the latest and most
requested techniques for medical, sports, & spa.

 

 

 

 

Manual Lymph Drainage 102: 

Hollywood Med-Spa Style MLD (1-day) 

with Elisa DiFalco, M.S., O.T., L.M.T

 

Thurs., September 4
Fri., November 7

10-6PM   8 CE Hours   $175

 

Manual Lymph Drainage has climbed to the 4th most requested modality in the United States

 

Manual Lymph Drainage was developed, refined and researched by Dr. Vodder near the turn of the century in Europe. Since then, MLD was made available in European Clinics of Lymphology to treat medical conditions and offered at elite spas for wellness and cosmetic beauty. As America's "Boomers" are opting for these services, they still prefer the most natural modalities to compliment their procedure, and surgeons respond with great respect to the pre and post operative benefits of Manual Lymph Drainage. Whether for general immune system enhancement, natural healthy skin glow, weight reduction or to minimize swelling, bruising and pain, MLD has found its way on the menu of services of Med-Spa's everywhere.
It also does an amazing job reducing scars before they even form.

 

In this course we will cover the use of MLD in the Spa, Med-Spa industry beginning with an introduction to the foundation and history of the work and its historical spread through the United States. You'll discover lymphatic A&P in a new and exciting way that brings meaning to the words: detoxification, weight loss and more.
Then you will learn a full body MLD that combines the art & science of manual lymph drainage celebrated in the elite spas of Europe.
You'll also enjoy before & after photos taken at surgery sites by your instructor who has worked for several of America's leading surgeons.

 

 

 

 

Manual Lymph Drainage 103: 

 Lymphlift of the Head, Neck & Face (1-day) 

with Elisa DiFalco, M.S., O.T., L.M.T 

Friday, September 5th
Saturday, November 8th

 

10-6pm 8 CE Hours $175

 

 

Manual Lymph Drainage was developed, refined and researched by Dr. Vodder near the turn of the century in Europe. His original work began with the Head, Neck & Face for the sinusitis conditions and was later expanded as a full body protocol. Since then, MLD was made available in European Clinics of Lymphology to treat medical conditions and offered at the elite spas of Europe for anti-aging and wellness. Whether you desire to work in the medical industry or spa and med-spa, Lymphlift of the Head, Neck & Face will be a welcome addition to the menu.

 

Won't you join us as MLD master practitioner Elisa DiFalcoM.S., O.T., L.M.T,  comprehensively discusses the anatomy and physiology of the lymph system of the face and the benefits of MLD for the treatment of conditions, wellness, anti-aging, as well as for cosmetic procedures and surgeries. The hands on portion of the lab will be exciting as it will give you the 15 minute "add on" protocol when combining MLD into a massage or facial routine as well as the 50 minute Lymphlift which is utilized when treating conditions such as: acne, rosacea, under eye swelling & bruising, cosmetic surgery, sinusitis, headaches, bell's palsy and more.

   

 

Lymphlift of the Head, Neck and Face is the second most requested protocol in both the medical and spa setting and serves as a great compliment to the skill of all licensed practitioners in the industry.

 

"As the massage therapy profession matures and we finally move our education into the four year university system, this will be one of the programs that will be mandatory for you to get your Bachelor of Science degree in massage therapy."

Larry Heisler, M.A., LMT

 

 

   
LAST MEDITATION CLASS BEFORE SUMMER VACATION (WILL RETURN IN SEPTEMBER)

3,500 classes since 1975 and still... 

FREE 

THURSDAY, June 5th      

8PM

 

 

JUNE MEDITATION CLASS

is being held at

our 

 

NEW JERSEY MASSAGE HEADQUARTERS
Parsippany Medical Complex
3699 U.S. Highway 46
Parsippany, NJ 07054
973 263 2229 

   

Join Larry in his 37th

year of teaching the Sacred Heart Meditation.  

The sacred heart meditation is learning how to still your mind,
focus your intentions and keep an open heart.

It's a mastery class where you learn how to master your little stinky ego.

          

 

 

The Sunday Professional Clinic

A great discounted rate so all may enjoy massage therapy from a consummate licensed professional! 

 

Next Clinic dates are  

Sundays,

   June 8th and 22nd  

  

Reserve your space early.  

STILL THE VERY BEST DEAL IN TOWN!

 

$55 for one hour!   

WHOA!  Great Price especially with our therapists!

Swedish or Deep Tissue Massage with Hot Steam Packs


(Regularly $100)

 

Call our main office to schedule your appointment,
(973) 263-2229.    

 

These great massages are at our

  Parsippany Medical Complex location only

 

Clinic gift certificates make great gifts too.

 

"A massage in gifted hands is much more than a physical experience. With New Jersey Massage, it is a deep, relaxing journey that allows one's whole body to de-stress and come into balance."   

Robert Abramson, D.D.S., M.D

ALSO 

 

SATURDAYS ONLY!   

360 FITNESS

25 West Greenbrook Rd. 

 on the border of Fairfield and North Caldwell,
at the foot of Greenbrook

(where Tony Soprano drives up the hill during the intro of the show). 

Professional Massage Therapy Clinic 
with the Instructors of the North Jersey Massage Training Center

$65 for an hour Deep Tissue
$85 for Sports or Medical Massage 


+ NJ SALES TAX

 

 

"As a former dancer, a personal trainer and an exercise teacher that has taught over 14,000 fitness classes, I've had some of the world's most talented therapist's work with me. No one has ever come close to successfully managing my body's specific needs as the master level therapists of New Jersey Massage, LLC.

THAT'S THE BEST MASSAGE I'VE EVER HAD!"

Kathy McCready, former Prima Ballerina of the New Jersey Ballet

 

"This is a highly trained medical massage team addressing soft tissue complaints with refined, neuromuscular hands-on therapy. Whether you are tight or in pain, just want to get flexible, or feel younger and look your best, these are the people to go to; this is the place to go."  

Dr. Henry Katz, M.D., Internal Medicine

 

"These folks are the difference makers. That was the best therapeutic massage I've ever had!"

Theresa Menagh, RN, Asst. Director of Nursing

 

 

TO SCHEDULE AN APPOINTMENT

973 263 2229

 

 

    

 

ONE OF A KIND GIFTS FOR FATHER'S DAY

 

  • Massage for couples classes:

Under the careful guidance of one of our state approved school instructors, you will learn how to identify and address each others tight, problem areas and the learn what hands-on techniques you can use to help each other.
Two, 1.5 hour classes...$300
Three, 1.5 hour classes...$450 

 

  • Learn how to give a great foot massage:

Under the careful guidance of one of our state approved school instructors, you will learn how to give a really great comprehensive foot massage.  

Two, 1.5 hour classes, Three, 1.5 hour classes...$450

 

  • Give the basic vitamin longevity package for a whole year:
    The four most important supplements (the bare bones) anyone can take to cover all your bases. We have researched the very finest products, priced it to sell and ship it to your holiday recipient on a monthly basis. See our web site for the details.
    One stop shopping! An entire years supply of vitamins, essential fatty acids and anti-oxidants, all the basics

 

We also have

Five Packs, Ten Packs, Luxury Combination Packages

*Medical Massage and EVERY style, serving every price range.

 

      

 

This month's specials:  

Take $20 off for you or a Gift Certificate for these wonderful different massage styles, or the deep tissue and medical massage that all of our licensed therapists are trained to do.

http://www.newjerseymassage.com/images/Brian%20J.%20Thomas.jpg
Sports Massage, Tandem Point Therapy, Neuromuscular Trigger point

with

Brian Thomas, B.A., LMT
_________________________

 

http://www.newjerseymassage.com/images/Bianca%20Franchi.jpg

LOMI LOMI: Hawaiian Temple Bodywork and Raindrop Therapy 

with 

Bianca Franchi, LMT, NCBTMB 

Lomi Lomi + Raindrop Instructor

_________________ 

 

http://www.newjerseymassage.com/images/Justin%20Weaver2012.jpg

Acupuncture Massage 

 

with

Justin Weaver,  C.A., LMT 

____________________________  

 

http://www.newjerseymassage.com/images/Kathleen%20McCready.jpg
Myofascial Release

 

with


Kathy McCready, LMT 

_____________________ 

 

http://www.newjerseymassage.com/images/Larry%20Heisler1.jpg

 

 

Traditional Barefoot Shiatsu

with

Larry Heisler, M.A., LMT

__________________

 


http://www.newjerseymassage.com/images/Tracy%20Sanders.jpg

 Thai Massage and Hot Stone 

with Tracy Sanders, LMT
__________________________

Michelle Frost

Hot Stone, Cranio-Sacral and Lymphatic Drainage with Michelle Frost, LMT 

____________________________


http://www.newjerseymassage.com/images/Leslie_Dondarski.jpg
Pre and Post Natal Pregnancy Massage

with Leslie Dondarski, LMT

 

"These folks are the difference makers. That was the best therapeutic massage I've ever had!" 

Theresa Menagh, RN, Asst. Director of Nursing

 

 

Five Packs, Ten Packs, Luxury Combination Packages

Medical Massage and EVERY style,
serving every price range.

We Got Your Massage Therapy Covered... 

 

 "This is a highly trained medical massage team addressing soft tissue complaints with refined, neuromuscular hands-on therapy. Whether you are tight or in pain, just want to get flexible, or feel younger and look your best, these are the people to go to; this is the place to go." 

Dr. Henry Katz, M.D., Internal Medicine

"As a former dancer, a personal trainer and an exercise teacher that has taught over 14,000 fitness classes, I've had some of the world's most talented therapist's work with me. No one has ever come close to successfully managing my body's specific needs as the master level therapists of

New Jersey Massage, LLC.

That's exactly why they have been Terra Sky's massage therapy team for ten years.

THAT'S THE BEST MASSAGE I'VE EVER HAD!"

Kathy McCready, former Prima Ballerina of the New Jersey Ballet and Director of Terra Sky, LLC

 

"These folks are the difference makers. That was the best therapeutic massage I've ever had!" 

Theresa Menagh, RN, Asst. Director of Nursing

 

(973) 263-2229 

www.newjerseymassage.com

 

 

 

 

 

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

Compiled or written by Larry Heisler, M.A., LMT

 

GETTING YOUR VITAMIN D:

We know that there are over 1200 systems in your body that directly rely on abundant amounts of vitamin D. Makes no difference how you get it, either 10 minutes of sun daily on at least 1/3 of your bare skin or take it in a vitamin D3 supplement.
Check out below some of the latest medical thinking on this.

"Breast cancer patients with high levels of vitamin D in their blood are twice as likely to survive the disease as women with low levels of this nutrient, report University of California, San Diego School of Medicines researchers in the journal Anticancer Research." Natural Practitioner Magazine, May issue

 

" As long as vitamin D receptors are present tumor growth is prevented and kept from expanding  its blood supply. Vitamin D receptors are not lost until a tumor is very advanced. This is the reason for better survival rates in patients whose vitamin D levels are high."
Cedric F. Garland, DrPH, professor San Diego School of Medicine 

 

"There is no compelling reason to wait for further studies to incorporate vitamin D supplements into standard care regimens since a safe dose of vitamin D needed to achieve high serum levels above 30 nanograms per milliliter has already been established."
Cedric F. Garland, DrPH, professor San Diego School of Medicine

 

 

 

 

 

Must See Videos and Links 

 

Sometimes I find exceptional articles or videos that I like to share with you.

Here's a bunch that I really enjoyed as of late.

Harold Rosen single handedly changes an entire city.

This man is a total inspiration!

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10152334061534394&set=a.10150209637419394.327640.95937694393&type=1&theater

  

India's Prime Minister says in Five Years solar power will provide electricity for 400 million 

http://thinkprogress.org/climate/2014/05/20/3439254/india-prime-minister-modi-solar/

 

 

 

Four Hundred Companies that will not use GMO's in their products! 

http://thefreethoughtproject.com/400-companies-gmos-products/

 

 

PESTICIDES! http://www.gmwatch.org/latest-listing/1-test/10560-the-worlds-top-10-pesticide-firms-who-owns-nature  

 

MY FAVORITE THOUGHTS OF THE WEEK:

 

 

 

"The person who dies, dies once. The person who fears death, dies many times. Thus, there's no point in allowing fear in our hearts. Be brave. If anything in life is to happen, it will happen. So, let's be bold, let's keep living our daily lives without allowing ourselves to be afraid. Fear is the worst enemy. Faith and fear never go together. If you have faith in God, there's no fear in your mind. Therefore, let us have that complete faith and be brave and be bold."  

Swami Satchidananda

 

"Man has no choice but to love. For when he does not, he finds his alternatives lie in loneliness, destruction and despair."   Leo Buscaglia   

 

   "We are all functioning at a small fraction of our capacity to live fully in its total meaning of loving, caring, creating and adventuring. Consequently, the actualizing of our potential can become the most exciting adventure of our lifetime." Herbert Otto

Rama's message to Sita in the Ramayana
"The reality about the cord of love that binds you and me, dear, is known to my soul alone; and my soul ever abides with you. Know this to be the essence of my love."

"Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man, living in the sky, who watches everything you do, every minute of every day of your life. And he has a list of ten things he does not want you to do. And if you do any, any of these ten things, he has a special place full of fire and smoke and ash and torture where he will send you to suffer and burn and scream and cry forever and ever until the end of time!

...But he loves you.
He loves you and he needs money!"
George Carlin